Male Wedding Traditions

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. These of course are the dumb ass things that women bring with them to a marriage ceremony for the sake of good luck . Now I have been married for nearly 40 years, and I can tell you flat out, it is not women who need the luck- it is men. My youngest son is about to get married, and I have decided to come up with a few items that he, and the rest of the world's men should bring into wedding ceremonies for the same reason.... and no they aren't going to fucking rhyme- real men don't talk in rhyme.

Item number one: A flask... this one is pretty self explanatory, even with all the luck in the world there is going to be a time when you need your best friend Mr. Jameson.

Item number two: Something Copper. Copper is the manliest of metals, it has brought men good luck since the Roman times. I would also suggest that you don't try to cover this one with a penny- go all out.

Item number three: A compass. For those times in your life when you are lost and need direction.... or for those times in your life when you are trying to escape the vengeance of the one you married and need direction.

Finally item number four: Think back to the time of the greatest challenge you've had to overcome in life and bring something that relates to that time. For instance, I might bring the eye patch from the pirate I killed in Africa, or perhaps a small piece of my old boat the Morning Star. For me, my peg leg would probably suffice- but I am trying to give you some ideas.

It's important that you get all the luck you can, because lord knows you'll need it. Sailors don't set sail unprepared into uncharted territory- why would you do the same with women, who are even more unpredictable than the sea.