The Fourth of July... A Great Holiday
As I am sure you know, I am not an American citizen, while I have been here for many years now I am still am still partial to my homeland. I must however share with you my deep adoration of the Fourth of July.
The Fourth is maybe the best holiday that has ever been invented, perhaps because of its commemoration of an embarrassing defeat to the British, and their disgustingly large egos... the only sore point is that the French were able to share in the glory of the victory. But the Fourth has become more than that... it provides those who celebrate a feast of delicious meats grilled to perfection and smothered with wonderful toppings. This is of course accompanied by the nectar of the gods-ice cold beer. And just when you thought it couldn't get better the day is capped off with the launching a small explosives into the heavens. Originally they allowed men to fire off actual cannons and other projectiles, but to limit the destruction they have limited us to watered down fireworks.
In any matter enjoy your Fourth of July- get drunk, fire off some explosives and stuff your self to the brink of your own explosion.
-Johnny
posted by Johnny McBarney @ 7:20 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
McBarney, you ol' salty sea dog. How the hell did you celebrate Independence Day this year?
-Concerned Blogger
Concerned Blogger...
What exactly are you concerned about? Are you irregular? Perhaps like me your prostate is on its way out. Maybe you’re concerned with your inability to satisfy your lady? You see the beauty of all of these things is we don’t need to know about them- SO SIGN YOUR FUCKING NAME!
To answer your question: I got drunk on a barge of the coast and helped orchestrate the greatest fireworks display in the history of Kennebunkport.
-Johnny
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