Rot in Hell Regis

I have had enough of Regis Fucking Philbin... everywhere you turn this guy gets in your face and starts screaming. Its starts every morning- I wake up, turn on the TV, and low and behold there is this magical midget yelling at me for no reason what so ever. How could someone get so damn excited about something as mundane as going to dinner at a friends house. "So I had THE CHICKEN- he used a delicious MARANADE! The only thing that makes that bloody show bearable is the body on his co-host- now there is a cutie.

Once you recover from being shelled in the morning he makes his next appearance.... Who Wants to be a Millionaire (rerun on the Game Show Network), here is a show where he toys with poor bastards who are trying to make a buck by showing off the fact that they have a life so dull that in their free time they memorize ridiculous facts that have no use in the real world.... I mean really, when is the last time someone asked you "Pardon me but could you tell me what country the Keukenhof, the worlds largest flower is commonly found?" Luckily I am not allowed to own a gun anymore because if I did I would have shot my television by now.

Now I had come to think that the reign of this TV tyrant had ended, but alas I was terribly mistaken. Regis now subjects us to the greatest torture he has ever inflicted (which is saying a great deal) and this time he brought friends... evil ones.

The show is called "America's Got Talent" (AGT) the first clue that this thing was going to be bad was the involvement of British twit Simon Cowell. Yes… Cowell (pure evil) has teamed up with Philbin (pure evil) and created a show so vile, so devious, that it features German superstar David Hasselhoff- yes that David Hasselhoff. This guy annoys the hell out of me too- he doesn’t even travel with that talking car anymore- THAT CAR MADE YOU JACKASS! But I digress... AGT is perhaps the worst program in the history of television- the lowest of the low (including a male stripper that is my age) are highlighted for their "talents" in the hopes that they will become American superstars. For god's sake Hasselhoff knows a talking car, but instead they are featuring old strippers, ear shattering singers, and umpa lumpas doing cartwheels!

Well let me tell you this you no brained bastards- you can kiss my flabby old ass if you think I am going to watch your disgraceful show and subject myself to more Philbin torture... and by the way if a flabby old ass really was talent, I would be considered the greatest talent on earth.